If you’re not familiar with Shark Tank, buy a TV and watch it. It’s a show where rich people give poor people money to help them with their inventions. In exchange, the rich people get more richer from a share in the poor person’s company. Anyone can go on this show no matter how terrible your idea is and if you’re lucky, one of the fat cats will throw you a bone. Here are some ideas that you can use to make millions of dollars on the show if you want. The only reason I don’t go on the show is that my eyes water when light bounces off of bald people’s heads. Anyway, take some of these ideas and use them to get rich and then give me some of the money so I can buy food. I’ve graciously added a pitch so that you get both the product idea and pitch. How easy can I make it?
- Bitten Apple
Hello sharks! Have you ever tried to take a bite of an apple but the skin is a little tough? It hurts! Ouchies! Are you hungry for an apple but can’t finish the whole thing? Whoops! Solve both of these problems with Bitten Apple; A simple solution for a simple problem. It’s an apple with the first bite taken out. Now that the apple is started, the first bite won’t hurt and you’ll be sure to finish! Each apple is carefully bitten by one of the workers at Bitten Apple and each worker is certified to be free of all potentially fatal contagious diseases. I’m seeking $100 in exchange for 50% share in the company. I have no current sales, but these babies sell themselves. I’m starting with Fuji apples but plan to expand to all varieties. Also, I have future plans to add apples with the option of additional bites taken out for a higher price. Imagine two… three… even four bites taken out of your favorite type of apple. So which one of you sharks want to take a bite of the Bitten Apple?
- My Nest
Do we have any bird lovers in the house? I know I am and so are tens of Americans! When I’m outside enjoying nature or birdwatching through binoculars, often times I see bird nests that are very poorly built. But what do you expect? Birds don’t have any hands! It breaks my heart to see these birds having to live in a crappy bowl made out of sticks when they could be living in the lap of luxury with My Nest. My Nest is a fully customizable nest that allows you to provide a luxurious option for birds to dwell in. Outdoor features can include a patio with built-in fire pit, a hot tub, or a bird-sized bocce ball court! Imagine how much fun birds would have in that nest! My Nest is fully enclosed unlike traditional nests with no roof. Inside features can include a fully loaded kitchen with granite countertops and island. Available also, is an additional office add-on for those work-at-home birds. To date, I have no sales but my mom has expressed interest. So let’s invest in My Nest!
- Ant Picnic
Tired of ants ruining your picnic? Want them to get lost, but not die a horrible death to some nature-wrecking bug spray? Introducing Ant Picnic! Ants won’t bother your picnic if you provide them with their own! Ant Picnic is the first all-in-one picnic package specifically designed for ants to enjoy. Ants will come from miles away to enjoy this bountiful feast! First, set up your regular, human picnic. Then just slide Ant Picnic out of the box and put it right in the middle of your food. Now, watch and see as all the ants go immediately for the Ant Picnic and completely ignore the human food all around it. Ant Picnic is made entirely of 100% food crumbs from other picnics to replicate exactly what ants would be looking for at a human picnic. I’ve sold one ant picnic to my little sister and she loves using it with her doll house. Stop having a Can’t Picnic and start having an Ant Picnic!
- Surger-Ease
Surgery costs way too much these days and unless you have great medical coverage you’re going to be paying some big money for your next surgery. We’ve all seen enough medical shows to know how to do a simple surgery. We just need the cool tools that help us do it. With Surger-Ease anyone can perform surgery! Included in the Surger-Ease kit is a 5-piece set of surgical knives, so you can cut, cut, CUT! Also included are surgical clamps and super glue if you make any mistakes. A step-by-step booklet and 5 minute instructional DVD will guide you with over 12 different types of surgery you can learn and try out on your friends! So forget those big-brained doctors that try to get you to exercise and eat yucky vegetables. Boring! You won’t need to say “please”, just say “Surger-Ease”!
- Autograph away
When I was 14 years old my grandfather gave me his priceless collection of Elvis Presley memorabilia. It included one of Elvis Presley’s favorite guitars, a few posters, and some famous articles of clothing he had worn. Last year my grandfather passed and as I was looking through this collection for the first time in years, I realized a lot of it was ruined by the sloppy signature of Elvis himself. All the posters and the guitar were signed in messy black marker. What a waste! There was nothing I could find that could remove the black permanent marker tainting these items. So, I had to create something myself! Introducing Autograph Away! A cleaning solution with a top secret formula, made specifically to remove permanent black ink from any surface under the sun. I used it to remove all of Elvis Presley’s autographs from my grandfather’s entire collection of memorabilia. If grandpa were alive today I’m sure he’d be incredibly proud. For the low, low price of $5.99 you can remove autographs from anything. Who wants to “embarker” on removing autograph marker?
Those are the 5 greatest ideas in the whole world. If you have any great ideas post a comment or send me an e-mail and maybe you’ll see it in a new post.
